atethin::

social life down.
It has all been on tutorial and school.

I don't know where to restart at.
Life's so screwed and lost.


total love: 10000000000000000
(:
X.O.X.O,
joy chang on the go (;

The Leap Years

A person often meets his destiny on the road he took to avoid it
-Jean de La fontaine

Coincidence is God's way of remaining anonymous
-Albert Einstein

It is not in the stars to hold one destiny but in ourselves
-William Shakesphere

In three words, I can sum up everything I've learnt about life: it goes on
-Robert Frost

It's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all.
-Alfred, Lord Tennyson


I will continue tonight

///edit



My way -Frank Sinatra

time.

It flies by and then everything turns to memory.
And when everything, suddenly, hits you at a point of time;what are you to do? Do you just shout 'help me!' or what? Do you talk to someone? How do you find that someone suitable? Everyone is human after all and does not have all the time to solve your problems when they have theirs.

If you listen to 98.7fm (quite long ago-which I haven't been tunning into recently) you would hear Ros say, "Women are from Earth;Men are from Earth. LIVE WITH IT!" I always love to hear that[are they still playing that?haha] cause I believe that it makes some sense after all. :)

Humans. A companion, trouble, fun, hurt, joy......

yes world.

NO NO NO. Baybayy you're so so wrong! I'm not the route to connect to Rah. It is my tag board and blog that is the route to connect to OUR DEARLY MISSED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Rah like what I said in my earlier post, you're missed super badly and like I have not talked to you in ages. When will I see you on Skype? It's like the time difference thing sucks and I don't know how you're doing over there.

Bay, and... tomorrow is like my last day at Bugis but Monday would be my last day at Ck. Cause I so so so do not want to work with the watches anymore. Even if they ask me to work for them a few days I think most prolly I will not work with them. I don't like to sell watches. But I applied for a job at Erika's work place and most prolly get a job there cause she said that her boss is really really really in need of workers. And if I really get the job, I'll be at Bugis again, 3days/week.

Today was a horrible day cause the two guys that I'm working with are actually quite dumb. I may sound like mean but I'm serious they would think that giving 10% to a guy that would buy 7 watches without any persuasion is like giving the guy 70% for the watches. Okay if you don't understand what I mean never mind, but my point is that they can't calculate!! and lost a great big FAT deal. Assy pussy bastards. Sigh. I would actually say that it's karma. Cause this other worker and I actually left to go try to get a sweater cause she was like feeling cold and wanted to like cover herself. The truth is that we went shopping in Bugis Street. Therefore I said that karma is befalling on me. Freaking hell! To actually think about it I'm pissed. Real pissed.

If you people that are visiting my blog to actually find out what course I got into, I'll tell you now.
I got into Sp, Resort facilities and services management. If you're thinking that the course is something like TRM(Tourism and Resort Management) you are like so bloody wrong. Yo may actually want to go to the website of SP to check out what the course is about. If you're going to tell me that my course is good, go ahead and join me. But if you're going to make fun of me and my course. I think you better just keep those thoughts in your head cause I don't need any salt to be rubbed into an open wound. Anyway, I have already appealed online to the other course(business) that I would be more interested in. Guys, please keep me in your prayers that my appeal would be successful and approved(okay like I know they both mean the same thing, I'm being a little 'lor-sor' and redundant) and there would be a space for me. Sigh sigh sigh.

Anyway I think it's just an infatuation, how foolish can I get. I may just like him today and then the next I may not anymore. But he does keep my mind occupied, away from *** and literally I don't think of *** anymore. (girls aren't you glad and happy that that idiot is out of my life) I like him today. I think I will not like him tomorrow. Maybe the following day, I will fall back in love with him. Then the next week goes on... and on... like a routine. So what are my feelings? I really really do not know. fuck it.

Life shorten. To Rah:

Without my friends, I tell you Joy Chang is like dead. Bye Rah.
Rah has left. Rah, I miss you so so so much!
Rah Rah Rah. Can we settle a time on Skype?
I miss you hearing me rant about nonsense assholes! I miss hanging at your crib doing nonsense when you can't go out. I miss you texting me and calling me. I miss shopping with you, hanging with you, drinking with you, gossiping with you and what not.

Saturday was a really bad day for me Rah. I went to Fasten Your Seat Belt at The Substation. Caracal was good, Allura's inch was hot so was their songs, West Grand as usual was West Grand, and they all were good plus awesome! Alright I know you're like thinking I don't know and have never heard of any of these bands haha check it out on myspace dear good!
So I met one two of Chloe's friends. It's a small world after all. Her friend, Gerald(this time I got it right), knows like ahem ahem ___ and like was once in their band. haha What a small tiny smelly world(like tell me about it) which is like miniature. Alright so yep.
By the way Rah, Chlo got inked!! Her name on her wrist, literally smacked cool woot!

Anyway Rah my point is that I felt really weird when he told me that ___ is going to be at Substation. I acted cool like oh okay really? I saw him from afar then I saw him right in front(diagonally) of me. I really do do do believe that he actually saw me too but wasn't sure and was rude(cause he didn't actually say hi) like a BOH-ZOH.

ahhhh and then.. I don't know I'm on skype with you now...lOVE!!

you don't need alcohol when you've got company.

It feels all as if my Os is over but in fact I still have got to face the fact that my last paper is on the 13th, Tuesday. I can say that everybody is looking for jobs, partying and enjoying themselves;and I am doing so too. haha. What shame huuh. What about you people that are just like me?? haha Right now, I'm wondering what my classmates are doing. You know like you miss seeing them in school on weekdays. Now on weekdays you can go and party your ass off and not act like a 16/17. Gosh, what horrible life.

If you're like wondering what I am up to. I've been laying at home like a useless bum, trying to get a job. How helpful is that? And I have been watching HEROES! OMG you people should really catch HEROES on channel 5 every Monday at 11/10pm I don't know. But I've watched season one and I'm done with it and not such a loser anymore in front of my mates. haha (when they talk about Hiro Nakamura/Peter Pertrelli) Oh now they sound weird in front of you guys? hahah too bad go watch channel5 and chase after every episode. This Monday on channel5 you peeps are going to watch the first 2 chapters and I'll tell you don't judge HEROES by their first few chapters it's rather boring but after the first 2 it gets exciting and you can't stop. So that's how I spent my one and a quarter day, watching HEROES.

After Wednesday at Homeclub. I've not been turning in early. Gosh is that terrible? Rah said that my face will be super bad and I think it's pretty true. I'm getting dry and pimply skin. ARGHHHH... EARLY BEDTIME!!!!! HERE I COME!!!

Yesterday, we hung out at Rah's crib. I bought wine. But we didn't drink it. Cause I broke it. ): The rubber cork was super difficult to screw out, and I broke the entire bottle. So... no wine, but who needs wine when you've got good company! teehee. So we got Kickapoo-joy juice, Coke Light and Coke. hahahh It tasted exactly like wine, how awesome right. You see my God is awesome! Had great girls talk, EVALUATING stuff out. ;)

There're Michy photos cause I met her in the afternoon(:

Sweet talking to GOOD friend!(: isn't it van?)

egocentric self now. not cammy-shy no more.

waiting for 87 to RAH's CRIB.

Barang. Barang.

play drunk huuh.

still talking actually.

pose.

my world.

The messy table of finished food and the girls.

Bored. So we've got guitar!

((: tee hee mom and dad came to pick me up at 4. hahaha

ahhhh I'm feeling sleepy. haha

Be satisfied with what you have and who you are.

http://www.lifewithoutlimbs.org

Pass me a stick and a lighter right now, please.

I HATE YOU!

I seriously hate YOU. There's just this communication barrier between us. We just can't talk to each other nicely. Why can't you just understand that I've grown and ....

I can't take it anymore. She's literally killing me softly inside.

I guess I'm just going to take out the expired box of cigarettes and burn my throat.

FUCK. I just don't know what I'm suppose to do. Sit her down and talk to her? If that works I would have done it eons ago. God! Please, I beg of You to just get her to understand me! Let her fucking mind know that i'm fucking SEVENTEEN and I'm not a kid anymore. Not a kid that she can yell at at anytime she desires. Not a kid that would forgive and forget, with a candy. Not a kid that sleeps over matters, and everything goes fine the next day.

I AM JUST NOT A KID ANYMORE!

I don't want myself to grow to hate you.

I guess... my life is destined to be in this way

NERD IS MY FIRST NAME

HELLO! MY NAME IS ________________.

It seems like my life is changing. So are my thoughts. They're changing constantly, everyday I would just stay back in school sit in the school canteen and gorge myself with food. The next second I would be broke cause the school canteen sucks! The NEW school canteen's food I mean. It sucks and its blarrdy expensive! Have you ever heard of an $0.80 SUSHI? A $3 forccacia sandwich, $3 for a bowl of soup, $1.50 of an ice-blend... the list goes on... and all the portions are SMALL.I TELL YOU the portions are really small!!! Not only is the food portion small, the food is blend and tasteless as well. If you're thinking then why still eat in your school canteen? I hardly do in fact. But I still do put on weight and put on hell lot of weight!
"I hate my body," says Joy. "I hate it!"
haha. This is what I've learn today! How to use the open "" and the close "" and how to write speeches between 2 or more humans.
"I can't believe I actually learnt something during English today!" exclaimed Joy. "Maybe it's because my teacher wasn't in school today... three cheers to that!"
School was sleepy for me today. I don't know what I did the day before that made me really sleepy, tired and lethargic today. When I arrived in school, I laid my head on the table, drooled and fell asleep until the bell rang. I came back, laid my head back on my desk and slept again. It was geog, my first lesson of the day, as well as the 'slackest' subject of the century.(maybe the teacher is super lenient) I told besty to keep a lookout if she's looking at me or whatsoever. So she did and I slept for half an hour, a whole entire period!! Felt super energetic after that but a few seconds later I fell back asleep until she called my name, "Joy! Stop lying your head on the table! Get up and listen!" I got up and then down again. Until best told me that we have to copy whatever that is on the board and hand it up. I quickly rose up and copied! Soon after it was recess. My recess was the most horrible thing on planet earth! OIL was OOZING out of my nian rong pao. cb la! I freaked and ate the skin. Believe me or not I have mutton pao, teriyaki chicken pao, beef pau, black pepper chicken pau and many other weird paos! IT'S SO GROSS and they spell 'dim sum' as 'Tim Sum'! CANTEEN FOOD SUCKS!
The rest of the day was pretty alright except that I was dozing off during chinese listening(lao she was sitting next to me and I held my eye lids, making sure it was open) and the beginning of physics. If I have had not talked to Jia Man I bet I'd sleep during physics!
Tomorrow, I have P.E and its time for my Height and Weight. All my friends have to go for trim and fit sessions cause... they are SEVERELY UNDERWEIGHT! I bet I have to go for trim and fit sessions as well cause.. I AM SEVERELY OVERWEIGHT!!
After school, I stayed abck to study again.. as usual it's a routine now. With Jia Man and the rest was very productive everyday! Except when I have good talks with Jia Man! haha GIRLS JUST CANNOT SKIP TALKING and BLABBERING TO EACH OTHER!! teeheehee

That's all.
Rah Chan IMU where are you? Where'd go? Why did you PON school today?
Back to school and Nerd Life again tomorrow..
LOVE

stagnant-rant rant rant about my CHINESE LIFESTYLE(:

Do you see spider webs all around this blog??
OMG! I may have a chance on turning into SPIDERGIRL! haha
Will I meet a handsomey, cute, hot guy as pretty as Kirsten Dunst? haha. (DUMB!...like what rah would say-LAME joy LAME!, not funny, hahaha)

From the pictures in my blog I can INFER that I have not been blogging for almost 2 freaking weeks!! Oh you know why!? Cause there maybe a possibility that I am actually studying CHINESE!?! WAIT A MINUTE! It's a FACT that I am!!!

WTF!
Everyday its like when I eat, I eat Chinese food;when I drink, I drink Chinese tea;when I talk, I speak Chinese;when I sleep, I dream of 'lao shi';when I walk, I look for Chinese directions;when I watch teevee, I watch Chinese dramas(what happen to H.K serials?);when I blog, I feel like typing in Chinese!!!

I've not been blogging and when ever I feel like blogging I will feel that there's no time in doing so.. and God knows I have a ton and one things to blog about!!!! It's like now cause of O's this year I don't have the privilege to go with my blogging moods.. (don't ask what is blogging moods) It like I have no right to do anything else EXCEPT to do CHINESE! (:(:(: Omy'tian' !!! I'm so going to turn into a CHEENA PORK AHHH...

Alright if you're going to ask...
Q: What did you do during your weekend.
A: before; SHOPPING, FUN, talk cock sing song, EAT, waste time GALAVANTING
now; Go to town.... DO 4 CHINESE WORKSHEETS, WRITE A LETTER WRITING & COMPO(:

Q: What are your frequent activities when you're in town.
A: before; shopping, pool, drink, MOO0-vieSSS!!
now; study at McCafe-how happy!

Q: How do you fling your MOO-LAHHS these few weekends.
A: before; THE SPLURGES!-clothes, accessories, shoes, shades, etc...
now; SNACKS!-to keep me FAT&CHUBBY! (FUCK NO!) Its like to keep me awake and perky!

last Q: How do you end off your day-out.
A: before; SMILE ON MY fat FACE and talk NO-n-SENSE!
now; TALK EVEN MORE NON-n-SENSE THAT REALLY DOES MAKE MORE NON-n-SENSE! -crap! I don't know what I am talking about now, oh shit!

WHAT HAPPENED IN SCHOOL???

• I WAS PRAISED TO BE A MODEL STUDENT WHAHAHAHAHA
  DO NOT BELITTLE ME!!!! JOY CHANG IS A GOOD GIRL (:
• MR. CHUA IS PMS-y SCOLD RUNNING STUDENTS AND MADE THEM APOLOGISE TO OUR CLASS SO UNNECESSARY
• WHAT ELSE IS THERE???
• HAD A VECTORS AND TRANSFORMATION TEST. I HAD NOT ENOUGH TIME AND LEFT OUT MY LAST [1]MARK QUESTION... STUPID GIRAFFE, ANT OR WHATSOEVER HIS NICKNAME IS ALWAYS COMES IN LATE!!! SO SKINNY ACNNOT WALK PROPERLY, HE SHOULD JUST FLY IN. ALLOW THE WING TO BLOW HIM AWAY! ASSSHOLE...
• DIDN'T GO FOR TUITION, WENT TO LIDO TO STUDY
• SAW LOYDD, DANIEL ANG AND THEIR OTHER FRIENDS.
• BOUGHT CDs AT THAT CD SHOP
• SAW RACHEL(tina's sis) AND B.F MATTHEW(the guy printing my class tees)

I guess thats all...

love!!!!!

The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

chinese chinese chinese.
blog blog blog.
time time time
crap.
heavy workload
full brains
droopy eyes
saggy eyebags
tappy nose
sniffy nose
dry lips
tired tired tired
test test test.
this is my life.
Amen.
???!!!
I want it to be
bass bass bass
shopping shopping shopping
sleep sleep sleep
talk talk talk
eat eat eat
exercise exercise exercise
teee-veee teee-veee teee-veee
mooviess mooviesss mooviesss
dance dance dance
tattoo tattoo tattoo
photography photography photography
NO BUMMING ALLOWED
((: *grins

i break porcelain and i break benjamin as well. (this has nth to do with any benji's!just a title)

what a fucked up day.
Today is just not the day for me. It may have started off well in school and then after school. But it sure it isn't when I got home. School life isn't my life, I think that whatever I do in school is just a facade. I don't believe that I'm alive in school, I'll just live life day by day in school be a normal student and obey all the fucking stoopit rules.


Went to JM's house today, dad picked me up(oh so nice) and sent Sarah home as well. When I got home I wanted to go to the gym but something happened to my shitfuck computer and it got jammed and stuck and whatever shit. It made me procrastinate today! DARN! I have given up on tha fucked up shitface computer. I'll just deal with dad's lappy till it dies.



Home, I am, it was time to eat dinner when I came back. So I ate downstairs in the living room so as I can watch my 7 O' clock show. The shit chair SUCK! The table with the food and bla after I'm done is on the table. So I wanted to squat on the chair, don't know what God knows the leg rest of the chair just POPed OUT! hitting the table front, causing it to fall and the BREAKABLE bowl, spoon and saucer BROKE. fucked up DAD yelled at me! Not as if I said fuck in front of him when everything collapse. I did no shit wrong! The fucking OLD chair is just faulty. HE JUST HAD TO YELL AND BLAME ME FOR IT. He helped me clean it though, with a screwed up look and blabbering, ya-dah, ya-dah...


IF THIS IS SO THEN DON'T HELP ME! JUST fucking LEAVE ME ALONE TO CLEAN UP THE MESS I MADE! I mumbled, 'then don't help me la' which I think he heard, but ignored. I decided not to be rude so I turned around and said fuck discreetly to the FLOOR! and the steps and the chair.
Got a cloth, wet it and cleaned it with all the broken pieces of glass on the floor. I wish it would cut me and I will bleed.


When mom knew about it, she yelled at me too saying why am I like this and like that, PLEASE I'm FREAKING 17 !!! Don't I get a mind of my own?(whats done is already done) When I told her that I failed my first Chinese test, it got worse. WHY BLAME ME WHEN WE DON'T HAVE THE MONEY TO AFFORD TUITION. fuck. I know I may have all the freedom in the world when it comes to going out and doing what so ever outside. But please have a thought for me on the inside, I still do need someone to care about me and spare a thought for me. I would let go the freedom I have right now for a simple loving family life or even for a day of peace and quietness with no yellings. With the understanding that I'm NOT that young baby girl anymore, I've grown up! (this just brings me to tears)
;give me wings so I can fly so high.

Later on, Towey called and kept on saying that she's upset and unhappy with the timings that we have and we've been telling her that we'll be going and we kept postponing the tuition dates. She even said that she's kept the slot for us for a LONG time and have missed a month of salary from us. She's so proud by even saying that if we don't want to come its okay, and she has many other people that wants the slot we're having. FUCK YOU, FAT BITCH! If this is so, then I'll show you that I can do it on my own when you say I can't!

I'm so fucking pissed with everybody right now.
;OMG I wish I am like her as skinny as a bamboo pole.
ANOREXIA, the path I'm heading towards.

-I'll be anorexic;own tattoos and piercings all over me till my ascending day.

-maybe all those one word/single replies and NO replies are just signs that you're ignoring me.

my day was indescribable. (literally-in a way that its not good or bad.) Many funny things happened in school today.

Like during physics, Mr. Chua was telling us during his time when they had track and field trainings they will run through this "forest" place near his school. (We're learning sounds now) Then he said that it takes a longer time for sound to travel through air than to travel in don't know where(can't rem). So he being the senior, training his juniors, his junior were all slowing down and he was WAY WAY ahead. So he shouted through the trees and after a few seconds, he realised that all his juniors were turning around and looking around them, looking as if he's really near them, behind them, and they got scared so they quicken up their pace. lols.
(I think its funny if you imagine you hear someone calling you but that person is not near you and you turn your head left and right when you're all alone, and nobody's beside you)

And during Social Studies lesson as well. Mr Lee S.B was unwell so he didn't come to school today. Mrs. Lo relieved[sp?] the first period and Ms. Monica Wang relieved the second. haha. So it was the last period of the day and I believe everybody is tired so is the teachers. HAHA. Ms. Wang was sitting right in front of the class at the teacher's table, she had nothing to do and I think she felt bored she took out some papers to mark. While marking, suddenly her eyes shut, and her head nods up and down. Then she sits up straight again and then fall back to sleep. It sure was a hilarious picture and Yoges laughed so loud that she woke up. I even ate in front of her!(when she was sleeping) Then when she realised that the class was laughing at her, she crapped up with an excuse saying like, aren't you girls like that as well, when you'll feelo extremely tired and blah blah blah.

Had to stay back in school to do chinese. I think I failed the recent chinese test, THANK GOD she didn't ask me to drop to CLB. I pray that I pass, a borderline pass will do.

Changed my notebook today at TOPSHOP.

I'm tired.scooting off now. ciao y;ll.
love!

back to being, the busy bee

This time it includes stress. It sucks, literally. After being back to school for the third day, you have a BIG pile of homework to complete, uncomplete holiday homework and even stayback classes. This year is the final year, the year you finally get to leave that school and stretch out your hidden wings and FLY HIGH. But we'll have to pass an obstacle, O LEVELS.

Currently, I'm taking a break. A break from doing all the homework. I hate it when they give you holiday homework. Last year they gave us an assignment of 100expression from 3 books, 5 chinese writings(newspapaper cutting, "diary", letter writting(both formal and informal) and a 'bao zhang bao dao'), 2 sets of chinese cloze passage and comprehension, accounts, chemistry and physics. So smart aleck JOY was so happy having fun and enjoying herself during the holidays(somehow) she forgot that she has homework to complete. The best thing is that she didn't even know where she place her homework.
And when you go back to school and having your first lessons, meeting your 'new' teacher(some) then they take their time introducing themselves. After that they decide to start lesson the next tme they see you. And those teachers that know your class like their back of their hand, starts lesson, immediately. Then when lessons start homework begin as well. Within this three days we have already accumulated Maths, Accounts and Social Studies homework. This is the beginning of my Secondary 5 life.

I was doing my work(as said earlier I'm taking a break now) I completed Accounts and some of English. And when I decide to do chinese, I realise that I do not have chinese writing paper. So I don't know what I'm going to do. Maybe write it on english foolscap, whatsoever.

Ogay, enough of my break! Thou shall go back in doing homework.
blog once again when I have the mood and have time.
love y'll ciao for now.

LIFE RUIN cos of work.

Joy is like FREAKING TIRED! Working every single day is disturbing my normal life, social life as well as my personal life! I WANT TO QUIT! or at least PLEASE DO FIRE ME!!

I FELL SICK and I think I am recovering but guess what???

I think I'm going to fall sick again.

and I'm working every single freaking day! even if you want me to work DON'T make me work EVERYDAY and only have a day off on sat! Then back to work on SUNDAY?

I DON'T WANT TO WORK EVERYDAY!!!!

I THINK I'M GOING TO CRY!!!! I miss my momma's cooking I miss talking to my momma! I miss my HOUSE I miss slacking at home! I rather MOP THE FLOOR KEEP THE CLOTHES AND even WASH THE TOILET!!!!!!!!!!!

;work is killing me

;FUCK it upside down

mommy!! I miss your delicious FOOD that made me SO FAT!!!

I MISS MY FRIENDS!!!! that are MY JOY!!!!!

I MISS my fucking COUSINS!!!!!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!!

unbelievable

maybe you have lots of admirererss. with just that pretty face and that 'act-cool' friendly character of yours, attracts the many other girls in wanting to be your friend and having a crushes on you or as an eye-candy. WTF. BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I actually believe you that you likED me. am I stoopit or am I just dumb? OH WAIT! they're both the same thing! alrightt. I'm both.{FOOK! I admitted. what have you turn me to?} Out of the others I know(guys-duh), you're the one that seriously change me. I'm not what you see me as. I'm the total opposite of what you think I am.(wait!! do you even know who I am?)
I dont know how and why I like you. you and I we're the opposites of each other! we have NOTHING in common! and you're not what I expect you to be but I still do like you.
"the opposites attract"-what a cliche
I know I'm bothersome all the time, msging you all the time, redundant stuff cause I want you to know that even if we cant get together or wil NEVER be together we're still friends. if you think I like my eye-candy YOU'RE CRAsY! I don't.
boy. I know emo's cool and 'in' now. but by not talking things out its bad! I know you dont want to talk it out thinking that how can mortals help you when are the ones that HURT you. if you dont help yourself who can and you'll never heal and open up to the new things.
you may say, "joy.. its not as easy as you think it is and YOU DONT KNOW ME." I know I dont cause you wont let me. And I still dont know why you cant treat me as a friend? and think that we must be in a relationship? I DONT WANT TO BE WITH YOU!
lets stay as friends.forever!
I dont mind you calling me dear(as a FRIEND), sweetie(as a FRIEND), pretty(as a FRIEND), baby(as a FRIEND), etc... WHATEVER as a friend... as long as we stay friends. so that you know you're not always the wall/rag-doll that people rant at when they need you and not there when you need them. and please don't treat me like them.
my friend. ((:

Life as a bed of ROSES

To think that

LIFE's LIKE A BED OF ROSES

(when I was a kid)

..
I'm WRONG about it? Or ...

Am I just being too naive?

To think that way, I did not think of the thorns in the BED OF ROSES. Looking PRETTY on the OUTSIDE but actually PRICKY in the INSIDE.

Life is not like a bouquet you buy from a florist that the thorns are "shaved" off for you. Life isn't that easy peasy. Why can't life just stay the same from the time we were born and not change to have all these challenges and trials to face. To face ais one of the challenges in my life.