I'll let you understand, musique.

I don't know why I bother talking to you. I feel dumb whenever I talk to you cause. I don't know in fact. I know this answer does not help and it does not solve my ownself as well. Maybe its cause I still have feelings for you and I have not let go when I have told myself I did.
Why does our conversation have to be like this all the time? (my heart hurts, literally) What happened to all the hee hee, hahas and lols. And all the mundane stuff we talk about, from going to one place, doing this and that, telling each other crap. I FEEL LIKE A FOOL FOR YOU. I hate it when you're suddenly sweet. Like just now when I say I'm stooopit and I ask stooopit question, you say that I'm one of the smartest girl you probably ever know. I HATE YOU for that. When you suddenly tell me that I'm cute or suddenly call me babe or sweet or whatsoever. I HATE YOU for that. When will I ever learn that you will never ever like me again? (idontknow if you have ever)This really sucks for me, I'm crying and tearing as well as praying that this will stop soon. It started all over again. Once, tears stopped cause it ran out, I guess now its back in stock again. This time its worse, I don't know why, my heart aches, literally.
WHAT A NEW YEAR.
I guess its bad thinking to turn away from cigs, back I'll run to them. ..