ThOuGhTS--

saturday,270506
i dont get it
why is this happening to me
anyway its planned that
its NEVER going to be my way
nothing seems my way
i thought i was well
but eventually it turned
three hundred and sixty
towards the ending
i am always thinking about you
were you ever true
or bogus from the beginning
have you ever think about
how i am feeling
but you are still forgiven
human's nature is selfishness
i have been thinking
if i should give up on you
i am like the girl that is
wooing you
i am not that kind of girl
you dont know me
i dont know you
i wish i have the key
that opens every door
i want to tell you
i am that kind of girl
that the guy takes the initiative
the first move
i give in at times
but not all the time
i realise that
i hardly, barely know you
but i feel that i want to know you more
do you know
that i truely like you
love is not a word i use
love is not defining, through me
i may be weird and
you dont even know me (i emphasis)
i am the kind of crazy werido
that freaks out in the middle of
god knows what
i laugh crazily
i can be funny at times
but not all the time
its only a month that we were
friends
i do not know the true you
it is the true you that i want to know!
i know you have bad habits!
who doesnt?
nobody is perfect
i have bad habits too!
have you been telling me truth
after a short period of time
you told me that you liked me
i guessed that its not real
i believe that i was just an infactuation
towards you
week later he asked you about me
you said no
and disagreed like nothing
happened.
i am willing and trying to
be closer to you
I'VE BEEN TRYING!!
i had enough.
i want to give up
i really do not know what
to do.
if i tell you that i cry every night
in bed, you may think
that i am soft
i am trying to get some attention
I'M NOT!!
its true its really painful
in the heart
liking someone that
totally ignores you
its really hard
putting on a smile on my face
knowing that i am not
really happy
i feel like i do not know
myself.
they may say run to GOD
i believe that GOD has feelings too
you put HIM aside when you dont need HIM
and call for HIM asking HIM to comfort you
i dont run to mortals
as all mortals has his own problems
if i cant run to GOD what more MORTALS
tell me what can i do
what can i do
that gives me the key to
everything of you
i am not HER
i know its difficult to move on
i DO NOT want to replace her
if what i can do makes you happy
is the things she do that makes you happy
i rather not have your heart
and cry and continue hiding my expressions
i wish we can meet up
but i do not know
why not
i know you have your studies
i understand
even if so
theres nothing to talk about
you make us sound like
we're worlds apart
i really would like to know
if theres a chance
or if you really do like me
i will not and never
doubt you.
even if you're busy
please give in to me
i would like to hear from you.
to type a message
takes up only a minute or so of your time
hope i am worthy of such time
do you know
when you call me and talk
i really do not know what to say
i am very afraid that i would say something wrong
but i am ALWAYS very happy
after the short conversation with you
i would tell bestie and my girlfriends
they will all think that i am crazy at that moment of time
and was always happy for me
they would always comfort me
when i dont receive any message from you or dont hear from you
for the day.
i was always paranoid
and they would always tell me not to worry
.i live up to my name.
.by putting a smile on my face all the time.
.joy is the word.
.i dont know hoe to express sorrow.
ALL THE BEST FOR YOUR
MT O's-
thinking about you..