i've been trying to smile i want to be back to the joyous me

i cant so describe how i'm feeling deep inside
but i know that its broken
really cant jus feel anything anymore
i wont blame you
DEpREssED..

tanning day! 

the day before + yst + today

yest.i had naffa! THE 2.4 RUN!!! arhh
*fats*fats*fats cried out..lol..
BUT i PASSED!!whahaha so happy larss
but timing depproved thoughh lst yr i had 15:sth mins BUT this yr had 16:43mins..
SIGH SIGH SIGH-so jealous of vanessa she had lik 14:sth so good hee hee
but was okay la felt super n even more hyper aft the run but i stunk!!(smelly!smelly!)lol..
as i think my spoilt n torn shoes cause my biggy toes(bth sides)to haf BLISTERS! ahh so i walked rnd sch barefooted!!hee-hee i noe its sick!as my feet was lik BLACK n even BLACKER i can even compare the colours to the skin tht of an banglah!lol (mean racist me) sorry a lil racist but its all influencial!!
oOoOo-the day before-i ate SUBWAY too too lol lol.. NIcE at shaws.. and thr are this 2 pple they looked lik guys but eventually they are girls(bungs!)..we didnt noe they lik haf been following us n peeing n spying on us HOW UNSIGHTLY pls we're girls too?!?!?! and thn tis girl acne all over(nt criticizing!(:-)threw her receipt i think trying to aim at our table BUT fell on the ground so she came laughing over n bent dwn n get it n did stupid this rnd shaws(lido) and eventually whn they wanted to go they put the "receipt" cum msg on our table and RAN ran RUN away!!!.lol. so freaky BUT funny::hahaha::so we opened it and it stated (if i have not forgot) "hi!can we be friends? can! Z*N(num)" yar tts it lol.. thn we laughed all over it n blah blah..lol..thn they came back standing n laughing n wispered ard thn tt acne wan voice is super super soft la asked my friend la whether can b friends and wan to treat her drink n everything but EVENTUALLY "she" was rejected!!.lol.ya
hee-hee
O YST!!i went to church aft sch for parade of schools(POS)hee hee so fun la we learnt tt dance step thingy thingy so faggy but it was super fun la..as in lik the dance steps are lik so 'gu niang' amanda thinks it GAY GAY GAY lol.. but its okay lol lol... but the steps are a lil diff. and complicating too q.diff to remember.. i always forget!!hee hee and yest while doing it pascale went BONK! lol loll super funny la we all did lik stupid things and everything van was light so she was a flyer!lol..so high n dangerous n scaryy haha but guess the girls jus haf to trust the bros in catching thm and everything ... o o and zhi guo cos he's a faggotyy small fly and can b a base so with his tupid breakdancin' doing it out of no reason..so he was in charge of break dancin' whn he's not good n suppose to teach the others how to break it.. LOL LOL..he's calling DUN NOE>>
thn abt today studied until 7 at serene la!!social studies hai sighsss
--speechless alr la..
o msg.d him yst he went shopping fun for him..i didnt haf the mood for anything yst cos of him n he doesnt noe anything only my "darll"papa also dun noe besty also dun noe..he's always lik tt i dun y i cant forget abt him..its jst always him him and him jus cant concentrate on anything...sigh n b'cos of him on sunday i cried to slp..HAHAHA funny n stupid la.. anyway nobody cared!!--hee hee--
anyways tts all back to studying(i think!)
LOVE LOVE lots!

beautiful to me

i dont know if i m the one for u in this life
i can't help hearing my voice calling ur name
cos whn i trying so hard not to look in ur eyes
maybe i have fallen in love with you
--
..i can't so describe how i m feeling deep inside
so much more tt i can say with your touch and feel so right
oh my you are so near all the time
in this place for you are now in my heart
i will never let u go in this life time...
do u know why
oh baby cos ure jus so beautiful to me..
--
well tonight
baby the sound that i can hear you breathe
its alive to see you smile with those tears in your eyes
they may say that you're just a girl in this spinning world
in my heart you're like a world to me..
--
..i can't so describe how i m feeling deep inside
so much more tt i can say with your touch and feel so right
oh my you are so near all the time
in this place for you are now in my heart
i will never let u go in this life time...
do u noe i why
oh baby cos ure jus so beautiful to me..
--
touch my hand
feel my heart
hold me close n you'll find me
you'll find me
so beautiful to me...

yest!!

i went for shane's and joseph's birthday they are bth amanda.b's cous la.. LOL ate and see thm played tennis..lol.. and found out tt their family is super super funny!!!and joseph isnt tt gay as amanda said so..SHANE is SO SO SO SO adorable..hee hee he's only TWO(2) whahaha...thn he always go go mumm mum go go mumm muumm..lol.. ARHH o we bought him a BARNEYY!!yar..lol..
--
o thn aft tt we took a cab and thn the uncle CHEATED us!cos he thought tt we're very rich as he picked us up from loyang valley!lol thn bring us tour singapore wht is this...ANGRY!he cheat my money
--
wanted to play pool BUT idiot Z.G he pang seh me go n booze! and moon tan ! freaking idiot lo.. lol.lol.lol.go palawan beach didnt call me la .. ):
--
o i also knew tt my "papa" is dun noe wht boys sea games thingy champ la!! for high jump la!! wht the la freaking cool.. lol.. so proud of him lol.lol..
--

o i've got nth to blog today..
yar jus wanna say failed chinese again..when he passed chinese..
who cares la
just feeling sad
these few dayss..

f*ck

i dont noe whts with u and ur friend!
but okay thn lets stop visiting each others blog..
u visited mine too so whts ur problem wha i dun wan to create a fight okay??!

~today~

lol..these are the flowers we bought for Mr.chan lol.. why did we buy it for him lol.. cos we made him angry..and he almost cried as he was scolding us so poor thing right??lol.. we're so bad n mean..we naughty girls..cos we ate n used handphones only la not so bad but he say we've got no integrity hai ya cos of tt prefect la 'pao toh' us hai ya dun care la..anyway so we felt guilty n thise who didnt stand up and admit felt even more guilty so we shared n thought of buying flowers and writing a sorry card or something to him so we've got FLOWERs !! for him hope he'll understand la.. lol.. o i bought a shirt too from ZARA hee hee super cheap la $11.90 only heeh heeh supwe cheap and nice lol.. love it so much i think lol lol.. cos might b its jus green..O!suppose to be going for P.O.S but didnt go i think mom is angry with me haii o tot of going n play pool too...hope he date me again..lol.. funny j.k j.k anyway off now...

if u say so

he thinks its tt way too..so let it b wat he lied so wht can i do y his mum mus msg me??i dun understand lik as if i'm .... i dun noe how to phrase..
yar dun worry dont worry his g.f mus b super happy tt i left him
how much haf it affected me?
u do not noe..i really think he shld jus go back to his *458 lol..
who caress..
it brought me a change--i dont think u will know as.......

sighhss

not talking to him anymore we're not friends anymore.. the world jus doesnt lik me wht the i jus hate it..why why why i mus suffer i tot my life was good alr.. but now.. EVERYTHING jus comes up at a time.. this is horrible..o yar n arhghh nvm--
o i passed physic not tt good but failed chem cos toot toot Mr.Chan he marked everything wrongly..i got super happy for nth its lik thr's alot of mistake i think he did it whn he was supr super sleepy lol..funny yar got a math test tmr.. sigh dun noe wht i'm gna do lol..hope i noe how to do it its algebra!!by MR>SAMYY!!
love mr.samy so cute n FAT! with the moustache!!bushheyyy bushhheyyy
o ya on wed we dismiss sch early!! yea//cos of good results of the o'lvl tts a bit far right .. but we dismiss early whahaha at abt 11..yar anybody wanna date me.. lol.. j.k j.k but i'm alr taken lol..gna go out w darll..hee hope bestiess will forgive me i think they'll b going hme n study la.. lol.. so i'll go out w deanna but dun noe abt amanda think she gna play pool alone.. lol.. so poor thing lol.anyway yar they're lik gna watch tt scaaryy show 'infection'lol i'm super scared ltr i scream till ahhh lol.. funny!
anyway ya sigh super tired so going off now.. see ya
love!!

sh*t la the musical is BAD!+bored..hee(:

what the hell go to the musical??i thought its gna b lik SUPER SUPER good BUT BUT but aw!it sucks!shit la..thn so boring toot toot friends dun dare to leave early thn we can play pool early thn dun need to go home so late!!shity shity poo poo...
yar i thank GOD!for josh!thank God tt he called me P.T.L thn he can pick us up yay!!*broom-broom*whahahaha..so cool n fun! BUT he's late as usual but i think he got lost in NUS lol lol funny la but anyway he thinks his g.ma car is lik some kind of sport car such an idiot!he SPEED!i screamed n he slowed down tt idiot!thinks he's driving a BM.asshole..f*ck la but we played pool we tagged team i&him thn amanda&van they bully me sob sob make me tag with him BUT not bad we won them straight so we dun haf to pay!!whahaha thn aft tt we went home my daddy got furious!!cos i want hme till so late--
i've accumulated 14!missed calls from my daddy!lol.lol hee-hee naughty me..so he broomed!sent van n her sis we've lik got to pick naughty sam up she DRANK! naughty!can smell the liqur off her body!lol.. so naughty i dun even drink..!heeheeh cant believe she's so naughty!!n THEY ALL LIED!!!say tt he's my brother n he's sending all of them home!!ARGH thn i cant lie! booo but nvm.. i reached home AT 2.20am!lol. daddy sitting outside waiting for me i got scared!!i quickly get out n ran home. lol. daddy saw him and kept on asking today!!thn i kept saying my friend n gave me a lecture so naggy! naggier thn my mommy!.lol.lol--
o abt locking my mom in the closet lol!stupid la i came hme frm sch i was so so so super tired thn i wanted jus take a short nap but it was dinner time so so so she didnt let me slp..thn when she was packing the clothes in the closet!i closed it n locked it!she YELLed n lik dun b funny arh faster open!hahahaha i felt mean.. thn she got angry with me lol lol.. tts super funny!
tts all now la going out tata!!
LOVE

HAPPY BIRTHDAY! sarah!

.lol.lol.
its SARAH's birthday today!
yay! hee-hee
we pretended tt it wasnt her birthday so lik orh okay really?!yar yar yar
lol.lol
thn we even msgd her m.o.m.m.y!asking if we can bring sarah out!
.lol.lol.
sounds wierd cos her mommy is strict!!strict!!strict!!so haf to ask..hee hee hee
she looked super pissed today some-more we didnt do anything this yr..
lol.lol
naughty-naughty US!!
.lol.lol.
anyway we planned way way WAY much earlier jus tt i didnt go to sch yest.they FORGOTTEN!all abt her b'dae.lol.as van had cheena dance(o*they've got GOLD+HONOURS!!!!)n i was absent so amanda didnt had $$ tt fat fat amanda!!eee-diot u noe really ;lol forgot everything thn we didnt buy the self made bear we planned way way WAY much earlier yar u can find it at the *ESPLANADE yar so cool lar..
lol.lol
anyway yar so we jus went out last yr suprise at her house n a DUSTBIN!! lol funny n this YEAR! coffeeeee
.lol.lol.
so we got coffee-bun,this chicken she liked tt XXX-L chicken lol stuffed in a coffee can!lol so its lik canned chicken thn she liked it so much trying to digg tt big piece of CHICKEN out of tt small small openning from a can!.lol.O! n coffe from coffee-bean not bucks(sigh)but its not bad too..lol. o n boxers! from TOPSHOP!!! hee-hee but we got a lil too small so she's gtg back n change it lol.lol
its super nice i sctually wan to get it for myself!! LALALALA!
but broke entirely lol..
anyway thr's chinese test tmr.lol. n i havent studied so may b MAY B! aft joanne peh i'll go n study ... hee hee
o PLUS all my homework!!HEE-HEE
gtg joanne peh is on! tata!
LOVE LOVE LOVE!!!
(:smilesss

yay! sick didnt go to sch

.lol. sick so didnt go to sch the kind doctor gave me an medical certification(M.C).lol.i've got flu and a lil cough hee hee guess its tt eeee-dot amanda!pass it to me eee-dot! hee hee so i dun noe wht ios gna happen in sch today.. lol... gosh whn i woke jus remembered tt i've got a trial balance test today lol lol dont noe how i'm gna take it dun noe if i still can take it lol..i cant fail! arhh its account! arhh sighh
nvm i think i cna take it.. lol.. o yah i still got a geog project to complete arhghgh still not completed yet still got lik 6 SIX more articles to serch for hope u'll can help!!lol need 1 more newspaper n abt 5more mix of mags n inthenet articles...yea.
hee hee
tts all going n do my works!!
.lol.
love all!
:D:D

SHOESS-in neeedd

lol..long time since the last time i blogg lol
oh gosh saw my pri-sch friend today i think she was with her b.f
it looks lik lol..
whn i got down the bus saw this wierdo looking so suspicious
kept staring(i think)or like waiting for a bus lol
didnt really care as was jus waiting for kor kor's g.f to pick me up n send me all the way in!
(OMG!i'm so spoilt!.lol.)
so whn the bus 70 came saw this girl looked so familiar thn realised tt it was my p-sch friend smiled at each other!thn she came down the bus saying HI!to tt guy (dumb me thinking was jus a friend)thn threw her big heavy purple crumpler at him as she put it on tt grey bus stop bench lol.. n thn he carried it!!.lol.lol.so whn they were abt to cross the road the guy somehow lik offered his hand to hold hers yahrr i think u'll noe wht i mean(LOL)thn i think she was lik dont my p-sch friend or something(can see her lips!).lol.he seemed a lil dissapointed but they carried on talking n laughing lol..funny!thn the jus crossed the road walked in soon aft my bro's g.f came!!yay!not alone at the bus stop alr..sitting thr toot toot wan in my polka-dots uni! lol..funny
yah o zhiguo bought his addidas boston shoes today so jealous.. sighh hee hee
dont care mus get new shoes!
mommy dont wanna buy for me
boo-hoo-hoo
she doesnt wanna give me money
i need money
anybody wanna buy shoes for me?(.lol.)
its cheap!(ithink)
i love tt shoe!
ahhhh crys nobody would buy it for me
guess will haf to save money
[JOY!u mus save!](hope i can)
a spending machine buying w/o any thoughts aft realising tt i've got no money n now i need shoes..i regrett forgive me God!bless me with shoes!!the shoess tt i wan!! ty!.lol.

love all tts all aft tt long period tt i didnt blog lol..
hee (:smilesss

some feelings cant be expressed
some can-by laughing,crying or soing silly stuffs
some jus really cant b expressed out as might they are hurt
some might not want to express it out as they are afraid
some dont noe what to do n they do silly stufffs
some go crazy n scream their lungs out as tts the only thing they think they can do
some go depressed n might not even speak for the rest of their life
some jus put on a mask as they go out and take things as if nth happened
some might not want to do tt same thing again as there's the fear in them n it'll affect their life
so what are humans for why arent they there for each other is it b'cos tt they are the culprits for it?yyy cant humans b understanding n jus not do things bluntly n not haf MISUNDERSTANDINGS at all thn it'll not cause any problemss..might b this is all fate!u might not noe who u r gna meet next..

wow-zerss..lol..APRIL fools.

ok 1st thing wanna talk abt the stupid joke this teacher played on her class..lol.lol super dumb--she's actually pregnant!so she pretended to feel the pain!!so one of her student called the teacher next door n the teacher next door said to call my male teacher..he panicked too!n ran towards her so u noe girls!!k.po(busybody)!so my whole class got up n peeped through the window..u should see the scene super funny!!n my monitress was yelling lik sit down la all so k.po!.lol.n i was jus laughing cos we're thinking it'll b so cool tt the baby's birth place wld b [st.margaret's seconday sch].lol.in the end aft a few mins.he came back grinning.smiling.laughing.lol.lol.n asked us wanna noe wht happenned thn we're lik its an april fools joke right??thn he was lik yah tt teacher played a joke on her class..thn we all laughed OoOoOOo the the nxt wan was this few girlss from2/7!!came laughing in my class went lik MR.CHAN one girl in 2/7 fell down n injured herself very badly.we all knew was a joke so he jus walked s.l.o.w.l.y out of the class n i think hee see a lil n came back but before he came we're making fun of it..thn i was lik why everybody call mr.chan??lik WHAT?he's the HERO of the level is it.. H-E-L-L-OoOoO!!so fagg la he hero!there are lots more of other teachers on the level!!!.lol.lol.he came back n said tt the 2/7 girls are dumb to use red ink!.lol.he said something lik:"they think what i stupid is it nvr see blood before use red ink so FAKE so dumb aiyoo!" yah tts something lik tt .lol. hee hee
o so aft sch we went to serene mac n eat!(aft a long long time tt we've nvr been thr as we thought tt we've had enough of coffee!).lol.okok thn we did homework n studied a lil..i studied abt an hour..yah o when girl-pals went to tierney's they saw SENIOR!!.lol.my beloved senior!!hee-hee wanted to go to her house n play pool again! BUT!BUT!sarah's mom didnt allow her...so we didnt want to go w/o her so jus cotinued n study thn went sarah's mom came n picked her up me n amanda went to bishan!!n watch 'becool' haha super fagg!love it but a lil dumb n stoooopid!-lol-actually we did quite alot of fagg things today!!.lol.lik tt painting thingyy thn put it into the oven thn.. tt thing yah we did tt lol..for sarah her n van i dont haf!!:'([boo-hoo-hoo]b'cos they ran out of J(s)..sad..but might b another time thn..hee hee
i think tts all for today la anyway came hme la going for supper is tt what all of u call it now..
tata chaioss!
love!
hope he talks to me--

gna go out w clarr nxt sat!

yay!!planned alr!gna go out w shopping pall CLAR.swt darll its been a long since i've gone out with her .lol. so happy n excited tt i'm gna go shopping again w her lol we're gna shop till we drop n go madd!!
.lol. .lol.
LOVE HER SOoOoOoOOOooo MUCHH!!!