time.

It flies by and then everything turns to memory.
And when everything, suddenly, hits you at a point of time;what are you to do? Do you just shout 'help me!' or what? Do you talk to someone? How do you find that someone suitable? Everyone is human after all and does not have all the time to solve your problems when they have theirs.

If you listen to 98.7fm (quite long ago-which I haven't been tunning into recently) you would hear Ros say, "Women are from Earth;Men are from Earth. LIVE WITH IT!" I always love to hear that[are they still playing that?haha] cause I believe that it makes some sense after all. :)

Humans. A companion, trouble, fun, hurt, joy......

troubles may seem so near to me

Have you ever felt troubled out of a sudden and you just don't know why?
If you have not, maybe, its not your time yet. ha!
Why? Cause I felt that suddenly and I am totally unsure why.
Call me weird maybe.
ha.


I'll be working with Shimada tomorrow. (:

Sing us a song, and we'll sing it back to you.

Someone please please please 'dictionary' my heart right now and give me a word that explains my mood and feeling. Save me; I'm actually suffering.
Insomnia, maybe.

I haven't told you my secret. Have I told anyone the secret I'm holding for myself?
Put the blame on you or on my own emotions?

yes world.

NO NO NO. Baybayy you're so so wrong! I'm not the route to connect to Rah. It is my tag board and blog that is the route to connect to OUR DEARLY MISSED RAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. Rah like what I said in my earlier post, you're missed super badly and like I have not talked to you in ages. When will I see you on Skype? It's like the time difference thing sucks and I don't know how you're doing over there.

Bay, and... tomorrow is like my last day at Bugis but Monday would be my last day at Ck. Cause I so so so do not want to work with the watches anymore. Even if they ask me to work for them a few days I think most prolly I will not work with them. I don't like to sell watches. But I applied for a job at Erika's work place and most prolly get a job there cause she said that her boss is really really really in need of workers. And if I really get the job, I'll be at Bugis again, 3days/week.

Today was a horrible day cause the two guys that I'm working with are actually quite dumb. I may sound like mean but I'm serious they would think that giving 10% to a guy that would buy 7 watches without any persuasion is like giving the guy 70% for the watches. Okay if you don't understand what I mean never mind, but my point is that they can't calculate!! and lost a great big FAT deal. Assy pussy bastards. Sigh. I would actually say that it's karma. Cause this other worker and I actually left to go try to get a sweater cause she was like feeling cold and wanted to like cover herself. The truth is that we went shopping in Bugis Street. Therefore I said that karma is befalling on me. Freaking hell! To actually think about it I'm pissed. Real pissed.

If you people that are visiting my blog to actually find out what course I got into, I'll tell you now.
I got into Sp, Resort facilities and services management. If you're thinking that the course is something like TRM(Tourism and Resort Management) you are like so bloody wrong. Yo may actually want to go to the website of SP to check out what the course is about. If you're going to tell me that my course is good, go ahead and join me. But if you're going to make fun of me and my course. I think you better just keep those thoughts in your head cause I don't need any salt to be rubbed into an open wound. Anyway, I have already appealed online to the other course(business) that I would be more interested in. Guys, please keep me in your prayers that my appeal would be successful and approved(okay like I know they both mean the same thing, I'm being a little 'lor-sor' and redundant) and there would be a space for me. Sigh sigh sigh.

Anyway I think it's just an infatuation, how foolish can I get. I may just like him today and then the next I may not anymore. But he does keep my mind occupied, away from *** and literally I don't think of *** anymore. (girls aren't you glad and happy that that idiot is out of my life) I like him today. I think I will not like him tomorrow. Maybe the following day, I will fall back in love with him. Then the next week goes on... and on... like a routine. So what are my feelings? I really really do not know. fuck it.

Gone with the wind.

How un-awesome it is to use such a good title with such a bad post.
All I want to say is... how do you describe in words of your feelings at its current moment when you are just super super super duper ultimate mega tired? Shack! (is it the way you spell it?)
Oh guess what I think I just did describe how I'm feeling at the moment, haha.
(can I comma[,] a haha-cause I think I just did)

OOMMMG! I'm talking nonsense already
will post pictures of sat night soon. Work tomorrow and the day after and the day after and the day after and... errr... never mind I'm just free and feel like it.
Please do still continue visiting!! Increase my ratings. haha
I'll just give you a sneak peak of a photo to expect soon. haha
<<<<---- if you recognise him, I tell you I don't know him. All I know is that he is jokerdrunked and is from a reputable junior college. If that looks like you haha tag my board!

The mortal I love.

He's musical, and I hope whoever sees this doesn't know who the hell this f*c*e* is.

By the way Rah Rah if you're reading this, text me after that. Remember me saying that I feel I might meet him somewhere near I'd go. Guess what I found out! He was really so near as he had a gig nearby. ):

If he's seeing this, I'd tell you even if I met you I would be seriously embarrassed and speechless. The most we would do is just sit at one corner and fag. Like what we did before and questions would thrown back and forth at each other. Common, absurd and typical questions like, so how's life? school? and ya-dah ya-dah... Is that all that is between us? To such a small extent? Maybe.

Question then, what attracts me to you? You ain't that cute. You ain't attractive. You're typical. You're just you. So... is it that I'm crazy or mental. Don't tell me that love is blind. Its just ludicrous that imu. arghhh this is so frustrating.

I'm vexed ://

joylovesyoubenjaminongkaichuan!

The first and the last.

My first ever trip to the POLYCLINIC, alone!!! I swear, its going to be my first and my last time. It was totally horrible. Horrible is just the word I'll use to describe. You can call me spoilt you can call me sheltered, I don't care. But if you have been going to the private clinics all your life(I mean since young), I believe you would feel the same way as I do. I mean like, not many people go to the polyclinic. So I believe that majority of you haven't been to the polyclinic.
Anyway, back to me going to the polyclinic.
Alright so whatever is blogged here stays here. Whatever is read here stays being read and not said out. I ponned school today... Hmmmphh.. and much money don't want to be spent at a private clinic when some one's not really sick.(by the way, the ratio of money spent at a private to the government is about 1:6)-yep I'm serious and this is only it's consultation fees. This is why I went to the polyclinic. The worst is that I went to Ang Mo Kio's polyclinic. Do you know how scary that is! Especially when you're all alone in an alienated place. You see beng bengs, aunty, uncle, lao bei-beis and ah-mas. Freaky freaky.
ALL-IN-ALL
today is known as freaky friday.

weekend well spent(:

Yep! Another weekend well spent(:
haha Although I did not like study or whatsoever but I hanged out with bestie!!
Bestie is LOVE!!
Started off the day as usual, with tuition and then I promised besto that I would go to church with her. So I did. Went to church for service(duh). There was awkwardness in the air, I could feel it, and so did best, she could feel it too-only towards the human. I really do not know why I felt weird when I saw him, I could feel that he felt weird too. Coversations before, when we meet were okay and fine. Conversations on the phone were fine as well. Conversation through text messaging was fine as well. Why now when we meet there's this sense of awkwardness? I wish I'd could read minds, so I can figure it all out.
Church as well was weird for me. I felt weird when I was standing there during Praise & Worship. Why is this so? Is it because I haven't been to church? Or I'm labelled as 'unholy'. Anyhow, I thank God for best friends cause she was there for me. And I guess she felt that I felt weird cause I was telling her how ''extra'' I felt when I was standing there. And she just told me not to worry, I'm not being an 'extra' and she tried to comfort me. I felt better after that. THANKS BEST, I love you(:
After service, I thought best was going to join them to eat and all. But she told me that she wanted to go study. All along I was thinking that she's going to go with the cell to The Airport to eat Popeyes' and I was thinking.... 'omg joy what are you going to do next, where are you going to go? You've got nobody to meet this weekend..' Then best asked me, so where you gonna go.. I don't know where to go as well. Then we decided to go and makan together! haha. At TCC- CORN SOUP!!!!!!! Planning our route on the choo-choo was a difficult task cause of National Day rehersals. Eventually we still went to City Hall and we did not go to TCC. We ate CHIPPY's and 3 li yuan yuan. (wow! tako-sucks!) Thinking of a place where we can have our take-outs. We headed down to The Esplanade despite the rehersals. Saw the P-5 school keeeds walking to their buses and I decided to be naughty and I joined their queue!!! hahaha. THEY MADE US WALK A BIG ROUND): I guess I lost 0.000000001kg LA! pfft. haha
One Fullerton's Starbucks is LOVE! Sitting by the river, eat, talk cock, CAM-WHORE!!!(till my mem-card's full!) haha. Best, I HAD FUN!
That summerises my day... oh besides trying to go down to DXO to check out if there's any band playing cause I remembered wrongly the date that someone's playing at DXO and met ERIKA SHIMADA. Plus I saw Zac's loserish friend. haha. Thank god he didn't see/reconigse me. HAHA and van saw santos the mentos.
Bus-ed to GRAMS crib and slept.

SHOUT SKY (in chinese)

zomg!!! I love nudges!!
teeheehee..
now offline-wth!
I cant believe I'm happy over it
Crazy joy-teehurhur
so what?
offline and not there!! arghh

fear

I was sitting in the back sit, upright with my bag on my skirt covered thighs. My fingers were fiddling with each other and my palms were sweaty. The air-condition was alright, neither cold nor warm. I pretended to look out the window at the trees, passing by at an eye catchable rate as the car was going as a fast speed yet at a normal pace. At turnings, it scared me, feeling the shivers down my spine;when the squeaking of the leather seat against my skirt broke the silence. She spoke to me, I did not know how to answer quick, fast and in proper sentences. I made a fool out of myself and dare not speak no more. Her voice just make me tremble. I saw her look at me through her rear mirror to check what I was doing(as I was silent), I pretended once again. My friend just sat in the front seat and was asleep. I did not tell her how afraid I was when I spoke to her Mom. When I got down, I thanked her cheerfully and smiled widely to let her know how much I appreciated the ride. To avoid her suspicion.

JOY are you CRAzY?

nope I'm not.
I'm just missing him and he misses someone as well;and I know I just know its not me.
How can he say too.. when my blog doesn't give hints directly? Is he that smart in these kind of things? Oh and he doesn't even remember my blog why would he even come and visit !!! (does he even know I own a blog?) I don't know.
But isn't it such a coincidence ??

I'll tell you what/how you're feeling

I guess its simple. If I'm easy to understand, I can tell you in just a sentence.
You and I are just feeling the same way;we just need someone to love and care for us.

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

Lets all KICK-START the new year, that's what I've been telling almost everybody to start the new year right and all. By not getting smashed and wasted during the new year and forgetting all undeserving memories. But guess what? I don't act what I preach. SUCKer!-this is how you spell j-o-y

I got smashed in the New Year and I'm too positive, thinking that everything is going to be alright when I started my own disaster upon my emotions. I'm okay, I'm alright, I guess.
My first blog post will just have to be about him. God, please tell me what am I doing with myself. I feel stooopit talking to him.

Why can't I talk to him like how I talk to the other guys? He's just an ordinary friend. I can be myself in front of the others but why can't I just be myself in front of him. I always feel speechless in front of him. What is it that makes him different, I see him normally, he got 2 eyes, one nose, one mouth and two ears, just like any other. Inside its different.


XOXO,
joy 2007

whats LOVE?!
have you ever thought.
that.. ...
if you love someone and that someone loves you back just the same
but you two can just never be together
and you have someone else liking you.
and another person liking the person that you like.
Isn't it just complicating?
ITS LIKE A<3b><3a BUT C<3a and knows that they'll never be cause she/he knows A<3b (vice-versa for D<3b) get it? never mind if you don't
its just a matter of time.
but you just see it (THIS!) everywhere.
There's nothing one can do but to just sit there and let nature take its course.
And if a person tries too hard. The feeling between them might just fade off without them knowing. Is there a cure or no.
If there is .. why is LOVE in this world for?
its just UNFAIR.
You can infactuatate on one and like the other?? can you?
what the difference between a CRUSH and the person you like?
and PEOPLE WILL NOT DIFFERENCIATE AN eye-candy AND A crush.
its just 2 different thing.
EYE-CANDY -NO feelings
CRUSH - WITH feelings